1985 - The summer of my discontent (you believe me, don't you?)

As this is posted, I will have just picked up Darren to drive up to a high-school friend's house with the stated goal of watching a truly horrible (and thus hilarious) movie.  (In his backyard, so social distancing will apply!) 

This reminds me of how Darren corrupted me during the summer of 1985.

To set the stage, both of us lasted one year or less at college.  My dad lost his job so I had to drop out; don't remember why Darren dropped out (too many stories about duct-taped hamsters, perhaps?).  So with our friends at school we had LOTS of time to hang, just the two of us.  In 1985, that meant, in part, movies (at least, when we weren't doing long distance dedications at the ice rink, or getting crushed in Telecheck football, or spending way too much money on motorized squirt guns or hanging at his apartment or leaving class early to watch the Bears on MNF... honestly, this 3 year period was the golden years of our relationship).  Besides Back to the Future (which I saw 5 times) that year premiered what we unequivocally consider the absolute most spectacular cinematic endeavor ever to grace the silver screen; The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.  By my count we saw it EIGHT times that summer, but maybe my memory is a bit fuzzy.  Regardless... "No matter where you go... there you are" became our go-to catchphrase for a LONG time.  Trust me... go watch it.  You'll thank me forever...

But I digress... 

That was also the summer that Darren dragged me to see such classics as "Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik-Yak" (Tawny Kitaen at the apex of her short fame) and "Delta Pi" (a sorority gets entered in a mud-wrestling contest).  I'm trying to recall the exact discussions that took place before each movie.  I think they went something like this:

"Lets go see Delta Pi!"

"No"

"Come oooonnnnn"

<Sigh...>  "Fine."

Now, granted, Tawny had just been in Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks, so there was some draw, and also granted, she was pretty hot.  So I must have given in hoping to see something that matched up comedic-ally with Tom.  Nope.  Just lots of topless women running around with spears and being tied up.  HORRIFYING!  And, also granted, Laura Branigan was cute and had a couple hit songs in that time frame, so maybe I was hoping she could carry a movie about women rolling around in mud, so I decided to go along with him.  DISGUSTING!

For YEARS I railed on him about his cinematic choices.  It was nice having something to hold over him and make him shut-up.  I believe we went several years without him being allowed to choose a movie. 

1986 Darren and Rob debating fine cigars and fine movies.  Note how I try to cover my pain with laughter.

Isn't it great how sometimes memories fade after many years?  I think it dulls the pain and horror inflicted on one's psyche by movies that suck.  I really don't think, though, that memories ever get reversed, or names ever get swapped.  Yeah... that never happens.  CERTAINLY not in this instance.  Nope... DARREN made bad choices and made ROB go along with them.  THAT is what happened.  

Trust me.    

 

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